Crimson Hawk’s Log: 005

As the days passed by, I tried to focus my thoughts on rebuilding my health and fulfilling my destiny — whatever that might be. Likka was very adamant about me being the answer to their prayers, and the manifeStation of some prophecy. I can’t say that I really knew what she meant, but I went with it. Though it was a long while until I truly believed it. But the truth is, even now, after all we’ve been through, I still doubt myself.

No matter the pains I felt in my healing and training, none of it compared to the anguish of having no memory of my former life. But after some time, I became resolved to let it go. A new life had begun in the jungle with the rescuers who had become my family.

After more time passed, Pake’lika began to trust me. I even gave him a little nickname – Pops. With mouth that could barely move, that name was just too much for me. Though he still had his moments of uneasiness, he became like a gruff but caring father. However, Likka, the kind little lady who was fighting for me, acted like a mother from day one.

She nursed me with all the love and affection any mother could have, but I always saw sorrow in her eyes. I longed to ask her what made a sweet woman like her carry so much sadness. But I was afraid of the answer.

Slowly my speech came back fully. It took a while, but bit by bit, it got better and better. I was also able to walk, then run, and eventually fight. Before long I was running and training with Pops. Let me tell you, not one moment of that journey came easy. But it was worth every ounce of pain.

I had so many questions that I wanted to ask. But I wasn’t sure how. Then one day, I got more answers than I bargained for. It was a warm muggy night. Pops and I sat in front of the fire after Likka had retired for the night. He was staring at the fire, almost in a trance. Before I knew it, my mouth flew open and questions about their past flew out. I asked Pops about their life before they found me. I had no idea about my history, but at least I could know something about their’s. It was like I needed the past, even if it wasn’t my own.

Almost as soon as I asked the question, I wished that I hadn’t. His eyes became cloudy as he recalled their troubled past. I could see tears welling up in the eyes of my adoptive father. Instantly, it felt as though I’d over stepped my boundaries, but he reassured me.
“Do not worry Max. It is not your fault. It is time that you knew our truth.”
Slowly Pops wiped away his tears and took a deep breath. As we sat in front of the fire, it felt like I could see Pop’s face age just a little bit more. It was almost like the pain of the past was drawing on his very life force.

“As the years pass, you learn to live with your sorrow and to allow your heart to heal. The sun and the moon keep circling on their destined paths. This is the same for us. As time moves forward, so must we. To stand still is death to the spirit and death to our divine purpose. Many pains and trials come across our path. What must we do? Do we stop. Do we give up? Do we fall to our knees in surrender…”

“No! Of course not,” I replied.

“You are wise and brave young man. You have a fire that will do much good for this world. Of course you are no stranger to trials and pain . . . and loss.”

It was then that Pops voice trailed off as he stared into the flickering flames. I wanted to say something. But the silence of the jungle seemed to echo the pain in Pops’ voice. So I simply kept my mouth shut. When he began to speak again, his voice sounded different, in a way that I don’t know how to explain . . .